


One Day I'll Fly Away

by Batsutousai



Series: Tales of the Fairy Men [10]
Category: British Actor RPF, Cinderella (Fairy Tale), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Intersex Loki, M/M, Other, Past Character Death, Physical Abuse, Throwing Gender Norms Out the Window, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-31
Updated: 2013-10-31
Packaged: 2017-12-31 02:18:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1026128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batsutousai/pseuds/Batsutousai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After you've hit rock bottom, there's nowhere to go but up. And, as Loki discovers, there's someone out there for everyone, no matter your physical "deformities".</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Day I'll Fly Away

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaim Her:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Marvel. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The character of Thomas "Tom" Hiddleston is based on a real person, and no offence is intended; this is only for the amusement of myself and other like-minded (read: mentally ill) fans.
> 
>  **A/N:** This is part of a series of fics based on [a challenge](http://batsutousai.tumblr.com/post/38980067347) to write your OTP using various fairy tales. And colours. Twelve fics, one per month, for the entirety of 2013.  
>  October's prompt is _Hansel & Gretel_ with the colour grey. I had nothing, though, so I picked out the last of my freebies, _Cinderella_
> 
> This is based more on the French version of the tale, as it is the less religious of the well-known western varieties. ^.^" (Sadly, that means it's lacking the 'eyeballs poked out by doves' and 'self-mutilation so the shoe would fit' that everyone likes to bring up as proof that fairy tales aren't really for kids. XD )  
> Of note, I've removed the shoe from the equation. Because it's a plot device that's never made sense to me. (Seriously, you're going to find your future wife based on her shoe size? And using a shoe that could break if you drop it? I just...) Also twisted some other things. Should be fun.  
> Uhm, Odin ends up being a bit OoC in a super violent way, but he's human and has...issues. (Sooooooo many issues.)
> 
> Super thanks to DarkFlowerDreaming for her help in deciding who was taking which part. (Because Bats was incapable of deciding. XD)
> 
> Someone please explain how this fic ended up so bloody long, please? Merlin...

That Loki was different had never been up for debate. Indeed, as Thor loved to tell him time and again, it was most likely the reason he'd been left behind on Odin's front steps as a babe. If Frigga hadn't been so kind and full of love, Loki was sure he would have just been thrown to another doorstep. And another. And another. 

Until, eventually, someone took pity and just offed him. 

Loki had been as much a part of the family as he could ever be, dark-haired and pale-skinned as he was, for as long as Frigga was there to include him. But, after her funeral, all the things he'd taken for granted began to vanish. 

First it was the nice clothing, Odin insisting he didn't have the money to keep buying three sets of the newest fashions. Thor and Baldr got the newest things, while Loki was left to sort through their cast-offs, picking out Thor's too-large shirts to hide his budding breasts and Baldr's almost-right trousers with whatever belt was the least worn. 

By the second year following Frigga's death, Loki was helping the servants with the simple chores. In another attempt to 'save money', Odin had let a couple of servants go and told Loki he would be required to carry his own weight by helping the lessened staff. 

Tellingly, Loki wasn't the least bit surprised to discover he was the only member of the family required to do so. 

In the fourth year, a visiting friend of Odin's saw Loki and his second-hand belongings delegated to the servant quarters to 'turn his bedroom into a guest room'. Loki made no complaint, far more comfortable with the cook, three serving maids, and doorman that remained in the manor than he was with his adopted family. And the five servants, bless them, went to great pains to make him at home. 

By the seventh year, Loki was the only person left to act as a servant, save for the coachman, whom Loki had never had much to do with over the years, and so found no comfort in. It wasn't that they didn't _need_ the extra hands – because Loki often fell into bed, exhausted and overworked – but Odin always found an excuse for cutting back. Loki suspected his adopted father was just trying to crush his spirit, and so swore to himself he would take any task thrown at him and master it, no matter the cost to himself. 

Also around then, Thor and Baldr figured out why Loki was a freak. (In their defence, Loki had never shared a room with either of them, and his continued use of Thor's baggy second hand shirts hid any suggestion that he wasn't completely male.) They took the revelation about how Loki would have expected, and he endured all manner of names, as well as days on end where the two used feminine pronouns for him. 

Loki contented himself with the lack of physical abuse and bore the vitriol without a word of defence. Eventually, after a handful of months, the abuse died down to only when the two blonds were bored, leaving Loki with blessed silence for most of his time. 

It was the start of the eighth year since Frigga's death that the announcement went out: King James and Queen Diana were holding a ball for their eldest daughter, who had turned down every noble suitor she was faced with. Saddled with one daughter getting a little too close to the high end of prime marrying age, and another entering that time frame, they had decided to hold a ball to find husbands for both daughters. So long as a man was unmarried, of a marriageable age, and moneyed enough to have or be able to purchase fancy wear, they were invited. 

"We are going, right, Father?" Thor demanded over dinner. 

Odin snorted. "Of course we are. And one of you two will be returning with a bride." 

Thor flexed his muscles. "Who could possibly resist _me_?"

Baldr sighed. "Not _every_ girl out there likes a man who can lift twice his own body weight with one hand, Brother." 

Thor chuckled. "You only say that to make yourself feel better about your paltry chances, Brother. Though–" his gaze slid to Loki "–at least your chances are better than _Loki_ 's." 

"Yeah," Baldr agreed, tone turning nasty. "At least _I'm_ a real man." 

Loki swallowed and raised his chin, meeting Odin's single eye. "Fath–"

"I'm not your father, boy," Odin rumbled in warning. 

Loki clenched his hands at his sides and refused to look away. "Master Odin, I had hoped to attend the ball as well. I can wear some of Thor's old clothing," he hurried to add, before that could be used against him. 

"Are you intending to find a suitor amongst the other guests, minger?" 

"Like anyone would _ever_ look at her twice." 

"They wouldn't even look at her _onc_ –"

"I just want to go to people watch," Loki insisted, still trying his best to hold Odin's unblinking stare. "I won't dance with anyone." 

"No," Odin announced, and Thor and Baldr broke out in cackles. 

"But, Master Odin, sir. Surely my years of exemplary–"

"I said _no_ , boy." 

Loki blinked against the burning of his eyes. "Will you at least tell me _why_?"

"This household will be represented by _true_ members of this family in public, not half-creatures who couldn't decide whether they were a boy or a girl in the womb," Odin replied, completely without malice. It was simply a fact, to him, that Loki was half-human and so deserved no more kindness than a roof over his head and what little food Thor and Baldr didn't devour at meals. 

Loki turned away to hide how much that statement cut. "I see," he whispered, his quick retreat chased by jeers from the other two young men. 

Oh, yes, it would have been so much kinder of Frigga to have simply killed him or left him out to the elements. 

-0-

In the days following that fateful dinner, Loki went through his duties like a man finally defeated. He almost didn't hear Thor and Baldr's hurtful words, thrown his way between visits from the tailor and over meals. He didn't feel Odin's stare at all, barely even glanced towards his adopted father. 

Once they left for the ball, Loki was left standing in the entranceway, staring unseeingly at the door. He didn't realise he was crying until the door began to open again. Panic overtook him at the thought of showing weakness to Thor and Baldr, and he turned to run. 

"Young Master?" a deep voice rumbled. 

Loki froze, uncertain, for one long moment, whether that long-forgotten title was meant for him. 

"Young Master Loki," the voice murmured. 

Loki turned, face tear-stained, to see what person would think to refer to him in such a way. He found, standing in the opened doorway, the coachman, dark skin thrown in sharp relief by the extravagant number of candles lit in the entranceway. "What–" Loki started, his voice cracking, then dying. 

The coachman – _Heimdall_ , Loki recalled all of a sudden – took three great steps forward and engulfed Loki in his arms. "I'm so sorry, Young Master," he whispered. "I'm so, so sorry." 

And Loki, bereft of such kind human contact and a moment's suggestion that someone cared even a smidge for him, collapsed against Heimdall, clinging onto the lapels of his jacket as he sobbed away years of neglect and abuse. 

All the while, Heimdall made no hint of moving away, only held Loki and whispered apologies into his too-long hair. 

Only once Loki had run out of tears, did Heimdall move. And then, it was to lead Loki into the kitchen, where he forced the young man to sit while he made tea. 

"Why are you–" Loki shook his head and waved his hand to encompass everything that had just occurred. Was _still_ occurring. 

Heimdall handed him a cup with the tea he always saved for his adopted family and guests. "Forgive me, Young Master. There is a truth I must confess, but I do not think you will like it." 

Loki swallowed and ducked his head to stare into his tea. "That's never stopped anyone else in this house," he said bitterly. 

Heimdall sighed. "A sin for which your mother will make them pay so very dearly, upon their deaths." 

Loki looked up, attention caught at the mention of Frigga. "You think Mother would be displeased with them?" he asked. It came out as a plea, and he was too drained to care for his weakness. (Not like Heimdall hadn't already seen him fall to pieces.) 

Heimdall placed one heavy hand on Loki's shoulder and swore, "I _know_ it." 

Loki looked away, heart inexplicably lightened by the promise of Frigga's eternal love. 

Heimdall sighed again, hand falling away from Loki's shoulder. "You deserve to know, Young Master, that it was I who brought you here." 

Loki jerked back and stared at the coachman in disbelief. "You? But how could you–?"

"I found you beside the road one morning," Heimdall explained patiently. "I lacked the means to take care of a child, so I brought you to the one woman I knew would always be happy to add to her family. And, while she was surprised to learn you were both boy and girl, she never once thought to turn you out. When Young Master Thor's nursemaid refused to care for you, claiming you were some sort of demon child, Mistress saw to your care herself." 

Loki swallowed, staring at Heimdall as though the man held the greatest secrets of the universe. Because Frigga's unflinching love for the child she'd taken in against all odds, was what Loki had clung to in his lowest moments. Now, not so long after he'd been broken beyond all repair, to be given this unasked for gift... 

"Thank you," he whispered. 

Heimdall offered him a sad smile. "I regret that Master and Young Masters Thor and Baldr are incapable of holding to Mistress' kindness." He looked away, shoulders slumping. "I regret, also, that I was not here to support you this past week, when it seems you had needed me. Whatever words Master Odin said to you–" he met Loki's gaze again, unflinching and certain "–know they are untrue." 

"He called me a half-creature," Loki admitted, partially to see how Heimdall would react, partially because he needed someone to tell him Odin had been lying. 

Heimdall's expression tightened so much, Loki thought it was certainly painful. "Horse dung," he growled. "I've seen you as a babe, crying for your mother, and you were nothing but human then, as you are now." 

"I am wrong, though," Loki insisted, because he could. "Neither boy nor girl." 

"Neither and both," Heimdall returned. "Mistress always said it was a gift, that it was for you to decide who you wanted to be. That's not the sort of gift you spit on. It's something precious and without value, a sort of freedom." 

Loki glanced towards the tiny kitchen window. "What use is freedom to choose when my jailer is ever alert for attempts to escape and the walls of my cell so thick?" he wondered. 

Heimdall touched his cheek, gentle and warm, and Loki turned to meet those golden eyes. "No man can live forever, not even one as stubborn as Master Odin." 

Loki smiled, accepting it as the reassurance it had been intended, even as he wondered if he could survive that long. "Tell me about Mother," he requested. Because he missed her, and he had no one to share stories with about her since Thor and Baldr discovered what he was. 

Heimdall offered a small smile and paused to sip his tea before asking, "Did you hear of the time she chased down a spooked horse while I fixed the broken wheel?" 

Loki shook his head and leaned forward, drawing his knees up to curl around and rest his tea on. 

Heimdall's smile widened slightly and he started the tale, clearly a fond memory, from the way he spoke of the events. 

Other stories followed, until it was just before one. "I must collect the masters," he said with true regret as he rose, back cracking. 

Loki looked at the clock, horror laying heavy in his gut. "I must turn down and warm their beds!" He jumped to his feet. But, before he could run from the room, Heimdall caught him in a hug, which Loki melted into with a quiet noise that was half pleasure, half discontent. 

"Remember, Young Master, that what others may call unnatural, is a gift. Your gift," Heimdall rumbled. 

Loki closed his eyes and tried to wrap those words around him like a shield against the vitriol he was sure to be faced with upon Thor and Baldr's return. "Thank you," he whispered against Heimdall's lapels before pulling away. Because they both had things they needed to be doing. 

Heimdall nodded and left Loki to rush through his chores. And if it took more time for Heimdall to return with the rest of the household than it had taken for him to return from dropping them off, well. Loki certainly wasn't about to complain. 

Baldr wasted no time in mocking Loki for having to remain behind: "Both princesses are beautiful. It's almost a pity neither of them would look twice at you. Never mind the implications of marrying a _woman_."

Loki bit his tongue and refused to react as he took Thor's outer garments. 

"There were too many men for everyone to dance with the princesses," Thor announced before Baldr could further insult Loki. The elder brother was refusing to look at Loki as he spoke, but it was obvious he wasn't speaking to Odin or Baldr. "They're extending the ball until everyone has been given the chance." 

"Indeed," Odin rumbled before narrowing his eye at Loki. "Don't think you will be given leave to attend at any future point." 

Loki bowed his head and turned with the pile of outer wear to put it away. He didn't much mind staying in the manor, not knowing that Heimdall would sit with him. In truth, he was glad for the extension of the ball, for the free night was a blessing, in the end. 

"Father, might I go into town tomorrow to find new clothing?" Thor requested. 

"Why not just call the tailor in?" Baldr complained, waving a hand. 

"The tailor will be busy with every other man and woman looking for new clothing. I'll be better served standing over him as he works," Thor replied drily. 

"Oh." 

"Yes, very well," Odin agreed, turning to walk away. 

"I would like to take Loki with me." 

Loki froze, only years of training keeping him from dropping the cloak he'd been in the process of putting up. 

"For what _possible_ reason–" Odin started, his voice lowering dangerously. 

"To carry my things, should I wish to wander the town," Thor was quick to insist. "Also, the lady I danced with made mention to me of a particular tea she has a fondness for, which I should like to find. Loki would know the best shop for such." 

Loki glanced over his shoulder to take in the tense postures behind him. Thor looked determined, but the fidgeting of his fingers spoke to his uncertainty. Odin was staring at his eldest, eye narrowed, but stance not quite as threatening as if Loki had suggested he would be the most useful for purchasing tea in town. Baldr was looking between the two, as though uncertain who was more likely to explode. 

At last, Odin turned his gaze on Loki, who ducked his head meekly. "Very well. As you will with him," he agreed before leaving. 

Thor let out a long breath. "Baldr, I would invite you along, but–"

Baldr snorted. "I would rather go to the most boring tea than spending a day mucking about town with _Loki_."

"Did you wish for me to return with anything for you?" Thor asked. 

Baldr hummed in thought while Loki finished hanging things up. Finally, as Loki was retreating to the kitchen to brew the evening tea he knew Odin would be calling for directly, Baldr agreed, "A hat, if you would. One to match my blue jacket. And perhaps some new gloves." 

"Certainly," Thor agreed, moving off without a glance towards Loki. 

-0-

Thor gave him just enough time to complete his morning duties before dragging Loki out of the manor. They forewent the carriage, since Baldr would want to take it to his tea, leaving them to walk the fifteen minutes in what Loki at first assumed would be an uncomfortable silence, since Thor didn't seem in the mood to insult him. 

Five minutes in, Thor said, "We weren't to know, as we are noted for having only sons, but ladies, too, were invited. For Prince Thomas." 

Loki glanced at him. "I surmised as much last night," he returned drily, as Thor had mentioned dancing with a lady other than one of the princesses. 

Thor grimaced. "Yes, you always have been disgustingly perceptive," he agreed, tone teasing. 

For a moment, Loki was taken back eight years, before he'd become a servant in his own home. Back when Thor was still his big brother who played just a little too rough, but loved both him and Baldr without question. Back when compliments for Loki's innate cleverness were poorly disguised as insults, because Thor could never be so obvious about his pride in Loki's own achievements. 

Loki stopped walking. "What game is this, Thor?" he demanded. 

Thor paused, head hanging. He didn't look back at Loki for nearly a minute and, when he did, there were tears and so much regret in his eyes. "My dance partner, Lady Jane, did not take kindly to my cruel words of you at the ball. You share an acquaintance who speaks very highly of you; a Miss Darcy?" 

Loki gave a cautious nod. "She is the proprietor of the better of the two tea shops." He liked Darcy, in truth, and had faced many an unkind word from Odin for coming back late after spending too much time talking to her. He'd learned quickly to visit her last, lest he be unable to collect some groceries due to the late hour. "What does Darcy's kind words of me have to do with– with _this_ ," he demanded, waving a hand between them. 

Thor swallowed. "I am... _quite_ fond of Lady Jane. She insisted she would never again to speak with me should I continue to treat my own sibling so unkindly." 

Loki snorted to hide the way he wanted to cry for hope. "Don't concern yourself; we're not _true_ siblings," he suggested and started walking again. 

Thor caught his wrist as Loki passed him, refusing to let this lay. "And it is to my shame that you would think so. I have–" His voice cracked and he turned away from Loki's blank stare. "I have wronged you so, Brother, and never once have you deserved it." 

Loki flinched at the endearment and looked away, because the more he looked at Thor, the more his eyes burned with tears. "It doesn't matter, Thor." 

"It _does_ ," Thor insisted, tugging on Loki's wrist. Drawing attention to the fact that _Thor was still touching him_. Thor, who had stopped touching Loki for longer than a clap on the back at least two years before he discovered the truth, which had him refusing all contact all together. 

Loki, flummoxed, looked up into damp blue eyes and couldn't, for the life of him, figure out how one woman had so changed Thor in just one night. 

"You're my brother, my best friend for years. And I forgot all of that for...for..." He shook his head, lost for words. 

"The discovery that I'm as much a woman as I am a man?" Loki deadpanned, just to see Thor flinch. 

Thor didn't disappoint him with the flinch, but he also didn't let go of Loki's wrist, like he would have expected. "You have always been that. Never has that mattered before, why should I have let it come between us then? Mother–" He choked and dropped his head, his face a mask of shame. 

And, suddenly, Loki realised how this Lady Jane had got through to Thor: He had idolised Frigga as much as Loki had, and they'd both missed her like a limb torn away. Baldr, too young to remember much of her, had suffered none of the heavy loss that Loki and Thor had borne since the day they found her fallen in her dressing room, hair and gowns splayed about her like when she'd fall back into the grass in the field, laughing as Thor and Loki cuddled up against her sides to watch the clouds moving above their heads. 

"Mother would be so ashamed of me," Thor finished on a whisper, the words pulling against the wind that tried to tear them away from Loki's ears. 

Loki reached up and, uncertainly, touched Thor's cheek. "Mother would understand," he promised, voice catching in his throat. "She knew how important Father's approval is to you." 

Thor pulled Loki forward and wrapped him in a hug, grip so much stronger than it had been the last time they had hugged. Loki stiffened at the contact, uncertain how to react to it, and Thor reluctantly let him go. "I'm sorry," he whispered. 

Loki wrapped his arms around his abdomen, uncaring, for once, as it forced his breasts to show, even under the too-large tunic that had once been Thor's. He took a moment to gather himself, then pointed out, "This changes nothing. I remain your family's servant, and far less than human in the eyes of both Father and Baldr." 

Thor shrank at each matter-of-fact word. 

Loki sighed and turned back towards the town. "Come on, Thor. We have much shopping to do, assuming you actually want new clothing and tea." 

"Yeah," Thor agreed quietly, joining Loki without another word. 

-0-

It turned out Thor _had_ received a tea suggestion by his lady, so they made a stop in at Darcy's shop. She was obviously delighted to see Loki, but her cheer took a dramatic drop as soon as she realised he was accompanied by one of his brothers. 

Loki took over the conversation before Darcy could make a scene. "Darcy, this is Thor. He said he was given a suggestion by a Lady Jane for a tea she favoured?" 

Darcy tilted her head comically so she could look down her nose at Thor, who was nearly a foot taller than her. "Was it the belladonna?" she asked in a fake sweet voice. 

" _Darcy_ ," Loki complained. 

"Your friends are most protective of you, Brother," Thor remarked drily, as aware as Loki how poisonous belladonna was. "Shall I expect such welcome at every shop in town?" 

Darcy shot Loki a startled look; he'd told her last year that his brothers were no longer admitting familial ties to him, though he'd avoided explaining why. 

Loki sighed and rubbed at his eyes. "How is it, I wonder, that Lady Jane knew so much of me to put Thor in his place when I was mentioned, yet I have never once heard you speak of her?" 

Darcy let out a nervous little laugh. "You have," she insisted. "You're even friends, but she prefers to go by Natalie in town." 

Loki blinked in surprise. He knew Natalie, certainly. She was a constant patron of Darcy's, and had been teaching the shop owner how to read and write when Loki first started being sent to collect items from town. Natalie was well-read and plenty clever to keep up with Loki at his most creative, which left them in a constant balance of friends with an edge of competition. Loki had never asked about her upbringing, but her being a member of Thor's social class explained a lot. It even explained why she'd been around less and less this past year, since she was of a marriageable age. 

To Thor, Loki murmured, "I'm surprised she didn't hit you." 

"She did," Thor admitted, making Darcy cackle. "Twice. If we hadn't been in the garden, she would have made a spectacle. As it was, two other couples left with due haste." 

Loki shook his head and leaned against the counter. "I can guess what tea she suggested," he told Darcy, "and Thor will hate it." 

"You don't know that!" Thor complained. 

Loki gave his brother an unimpressed stare, which had the blond drooping like a chastised puppy, then he turned back to Darcy, who wore a smile so bright, it put the sun to shame. "Citrus lavender for me, black dragon pearls for Thor, if you have any?" 

Darcy nodded. "My last cup. Are you sure?" 

Loki paused to consider his request for the rare tea, then nodded. "For the moment, yes. But ask me again in a month," he added drily. 

Thor made a sound of complaint behind him, but remained, wisely, silent. 

Darcy quickly brewed their tea, then brought it out with a cup for herself and joined them at the table they'd settled at. As she poured the tea, Darcy said, "I assume, since Thor actually got a dance with Lady Jane, that you weren't allowed to the ball, Loki." 

Loki shrugged. "Of course not. I am a servant." 

"It's not fair," Thor complained, causing Darcy to glance at him in surprise. When Loki raised an eyebrow at him, Thor insisted, "You were raised the same as Baldr and me, have the same right to meet the prince and princesses as us. More, perhaps; what's to say you weren't born into nobility?" 

"What I was born as is hardly a matter for debate," Loki replied. 

"Maybe we can disguise you?" Darcy offered hopefully. "Was anyone wearing a mask?" 

Thor shook his head, but his eyes gleamed in a way that reminded Loki of all their worst 'adventures'. "No," he ordered before Thor could make his suggestion. 

Thor smiled. "I was going to say, Father and Baldr would never suspect you to attend as a woman." 

" _No_ ," Loki insisted. 

Darcy considered him. "You could definitely pull it off. I mean, we'll have to pad your chest a bit, and the tailor is going to look at you a bit odd, putting a bloke in a gown..." 

"She doesn't know?" Thor wondered, eyebrows raised at Loki. 

Loki hunched over his tea and glared at his brother. "Do you honestly blame me for keeping it to myself?" 

Thor winced and looked away, ashamed. "I'm sorry, Loki." 

Darcy looked between them in confusion. "What? What are you not telling me?" 

Loki took a fortifying breath, glanced around to remind himself that they were the only people in the shop at the moment, then sat up and pulled the tunic tight across his chest. "I am half woman," he admitted, forcing his voice to not shake. 

Darcy's eyes went wide and she stared at him until he'd hunched back over his tea. Then she let out a delighted noise and declared, "That is _fantastic_!" She leaned forward, unperturbed by the confused looks the brothers were shooting her. "What's it like? No, wait, not a good topic for the shop. You realise this is practically the best thing ever, right?" She tilted her head to one side, considering him. "We can put you in a skirt before we send you down to–"

"You don't think it's...unnatural?" Loki asked. 

Darcy blinked. "When has that ever stopped me?" 

Loki let out a laugh of relief. "When, indeed." 

Darcy frowned and turned on Thor. "The only reason I'm not hitting you is that you're trying to be better. But, for the record, I really, really want to hit you." 

Thor grimaced. "Noted." 

Darcy nodded, then turned back to Loki. "Let's talk logistics. I don't have a horse or anything to get you to the palace, you know." 

Loki fingered the upper edge of his cup. "Heimdall will take me." 

"If he tells Father–" Thor cautioned. 

Loki waved a hand at him. "I trust Heimdall to hold his silence. You'll simply have to trust that I wouldn't put myself in harm's way." 

Thor scowled, but didn't bring it up again as Darcy turned to the question of getting herself into the manor to help Loki get dressed, then the fabric and colours he would prefer. All of which were kept to the less pricy end until Thor insisted, "You're owed eight years new clothing; get whatever you want. I'll handle the cost and Father's questions." 

"He grows on you," Darcy commented a bit later, as she helped Loki into an older skirt and blouse that were both a little short, but serviceable. 

Loki stared at himself in the mirror, disbelieving at the change different clothing made. "He does," he agreed absently. 

Darcy turned him away from the mirror, expression uncommonly sober. "Are you okay?" 

Loki considered the question for a moment before quietly admitting, "A part of me is still waiting to wake up." 

Darcy very firmly pinched him, grinning as Loki whimpered and snatched his arm away. "Awake yet?" 

"I don't think I like you any more," Loki decided. 

Darcy laughed and started towards the ladder back down to the back room of the shop. "Come on. Let's make you a lady." 

-0-

Thor said everyone had worn bright colours to the first night of the ball, each trying to outdo the other, and the tailor helpfully told them that people were doing the same thing this go around. So Loki decided on a dull grey shade for his gown. He figured it would be good for fading back into shadowy corners, even as it stood out against the brighter colours of everyone else. 

Thor, likewise, asked for slate blue. In part so Odin wouldn't notice that there were two different outfits in Thor's pile, in part because he trusted Loki's reasoning, even without knowing what it was. 

At Darcy's direction, they also ended up getting a silver necklace and hairband set, both pieces speckled with tiny green emeralds. They had a fight over shoes, because Loki didn't want to give up his comfortable boots, which had served him wonderfully for the past two years and only had a tiny hole above the sole on the instep. 

"Anyway," he'd added as they looked at the shoes on display in the shoe maker's window, "the _last_ thing I need is to be taller. You heard the tailor; he's already having to add fabric to make up for my excessive height, no need to force him to add more because you two think I need woman shoes." 

Thor sighed and shrugged. "He's not going to budge. If we buy any shoes, they'll be in the fire by the time you arrive." 

Darcy groaned and leaned against Loki's side, looking up at him with a pitiful expression. "Just, whatever you do, don't lift your skirts where anyone can see." 

"I promise," Loki agreed, and they moved on to hats, gloves, and shawls. Thor did get the hat and gloves he'd promised Baldr, utilising Loki's greater recall to make sure he matched the shade of blue. 

Their last stop was to the hairstylist, who took one look at Loki's hair and about cried, then dragged him over to a chair and set about fixing what she could of the soot-dirtied, self-trimmed locks of Loki's hair. 

By the time they returned to the manor, Loki and Thor were both exhausted, but also excited. They had to stand in the trees at the edge of the property for five minutes to calm themselves, for they kept grinning when they locked eyes. 

It was good, Loki decided as he helped Thor carry everything up to his rooms, to have his brother back. Even if it didn't last. 

-0-

Heimdall was more than willing to take Loki to the ball, and he'd hugged him with a proud smile and heartfelt compliment once Loki had stepped out of the manor in his finery, Darcy grinning behind them. 

"You must find me by midnight, if I am to return you home in time enough to pick up the masters," Heimdall warned him once they were on the way. "I can probably make the trip if you wait no later than half past, but it'll put a strain on the horses." 

"I will look for you before the clock strikes the hour," Loki promised. 

Heimdall nodded, accepting his word without question, and asked about Thor's sudden change of heart and Darcy. 

Loki took care to not make an entrance, which wasn't hard with the ball already in full swing. He descended the grand staircase as quickly as he could, uncomfortable so exposed, and huddled in the first shadowed corner he found. He spent five minutes there, scanning the dance floor and making note of where Baldr was huddled with his friends, where Odin stood with his military fellows, and the positions of both princesses (he could tell who they were based on the crowns they wore and the men crowding around them) and the king and queen. He didn't see anyone he thought was the prince, nor Thor and Natalie. (Jane. Whatever her name was.) 

Recalling what Thor had said about the garden, Loki made his way out there, turning down a dance offer with a polite smile and carefully not agreeing to one later. 

Thor and Natalie were seated around the fountain with two other young women and three young men. Natalie saw Loki first, and her eyes went wide before she jumped to her feet with an undignified squeal and scooped up her skirts to run up to Loki and hug him. "Thor said you would try to come!" she exclaimed before pulling back to look him over. "You look really, _really_ good, Lo'." 

Loki smiled at her. "As do you, _Natalie_."

Natalie grimaced. "I am sorry for never telling you. But, given how you always speak of your family, do you really blame me for not telling you I'm of noble birth?" 

" _Noble_ birth?" Loki repeated, eyebrows raising. "Thor really is looking to marry up, isn't he?" 

Natalie snorted. "You're assuming I want anything to do with him, after all I've heard you say." 

Loki shook his head. "Before Mother died, he was not so horrible. Perhaps he simply needs a woman around to beat common decency into him." He winked and Natalie let out a bright laugh. 

"Oiy!" one of the other males at the fountain called, leaning forward. "Bring the lady over here, Jane! No need to hog her alone." 

Jane sighed and mouthed an apology, which Loki smiled at, then led the way over to the fountain. "Everyone, this is my very good friend, Loki," she introduced. "Lo', you already know Thor. But this is Tom, Alice, Matthew, Anna, and Edmund." She paused for an exchange of greetings amongst all involved, then motioned for Loki to take her original spot between Thor and Tom, and settled in at Thor's other side. 

Tom very lightly took Loki's gloved hand and brought it to his lips. "Good evening, Lady Loki." 

Loki, inexplicably, felt himself flushing, and sent a silent thank you to Darcy and her rouge. "Just Loki, please," he requested. "I'm no lady." 

"And yet you look so very much like one," Tom murmured. 

Loki almost snatched his hand back, not interested in flirting, even with Natalie's friends, but then he saw a spark in Tom's eyes, one that promised trouble and nothing but a good time so long as Loki played along. He narrowed his eyes and quickly reversed their hands, bringing Tom's to his lips for a light kiss. "And you like a delicate lord. I mustn't dance with you, lest I step on your foot and you crumble to dust in my hands." 

" _Loki_!" Thor hissed, disapproving. 

Tom laughed, bright and pleased, and carefully extracted his hand from Loki's. "If you're afraid to dance with me, Lady Loki, you need only say so. I promise not to hold your fear against you." 

Loki grinned. "I have two brothers, Lord Tom. You're going to have to try harder than that to bait me into joining you on the dance floor." 

"Ah. I do so love a challenge," Tom promised. 

Loki spent the first hour providing as much of a challenge as he possibly could, but even he eventually had to admit defeat and let Tom lead him onto the dance floor. The fact that neither Baldr nor Odin had moved, nor did they show any interest in the dancers, helped soothe Loki's agreement. Even disguised as he was, he had no interest in catching even a hint of Odin's attention. 

One dance turned into two, which then turned into three and five, until Loki finally insisted his feet hurt and he needed to sit down somewhere. 

Tom led him to a table piled with refreshments and had a chair brought over for Loki to sit in. "Did you want me to rub your feet?" he teased good-naturedly. 

Loki rolled his eyes. "And disabuse you of the notion that a woman's feet always smell of roses? I think not." 

Tom chuckled and accepted a second chair with a surprisingly honest, "Thank you, Mark," to the servant who brought it. Then he sat and admitted, "I have two sisters; I'm quite aware that not all women's feet smell of roses." He smiled. "For that matter, I don't think they've ever once smelled of flowers, either of them. Not even after that time Emma decided to dump a bottle of rose perfume on her feet." 

Loki blinked, glanced out past the dance floor to where the two princesses were laughing at something a man had just said, then blinked again. "You're the prince," he realised dumbly. 

Tom grimaced. "Ah. And you are surprisingly quick. I shouldn't have said Emma's name." 

Hurt roiled in Loki's stomach and he stood. "Excuse me, your Highness," he murmured before turning to walk away. 

"Oh for– Curse it all. Loki, stop," Tom pleaded, catching his arm before he could get out of reach. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to mislead you, I just..." He sighed and gave Loki the most pitiful look he'd even seen. 

Loki stared back at him, forcing himself to be unmoved. "You have once chance to explain yourself." 

Tom sighed and ran a hand through his hair, the curls catching on his fingers and springing back into place when he lowered his hand again. "The last thing I wanted was a ball to find a spouse, and I _told_ Mother that, but she's quite set on seeing all of us married and with grandchildren at the soonest possible occasion. Sarah and Emma said they could hold the ball for them and leave me out of it, but Mother and Father still invited all eligible women for me. So I've been..." 

"Hiding," Loki finished for him, returning to his seat. "Without a crown, most people wouldn't know you from the boy down the road." 

Tom let out a relieved noise. "Exactly. My cousins agreed to play along, and Lady Jane is always up for a bit of deception. Which you clearly know, since you keep calling her Natalie." 

Loki shrugged, unconcerned. "It's hard to break almost five years of habit." Then he tilted his head curiously, Tom's earlier comment connecting in his head. "The others are all your cousins?" 

"Quite. There are a few others floating around somewhere, but you've met the bulk of them." 

Loki nodded and took a sip of his drink, then set it aside to tease, "I suppose I should be honoured that the prince chose to dance with me instead of continuing to sit with his cousins in the garden." 

Tom's lips twitched. "I get the sense you're not, actually, honoured." 

"Your sense is quite correct. You let me think you a dainty lord, but you're actually a _prince_. I'm not sure I can afford the cost if I break you. You definitely won't be getting another dance." 

"Ah. I did convince you once, you know," Tom pointed out. 

"You did," Loki agreed with a smirk. "The question is, can you perform two miracles in one night?" 

It turned out Tom was more than capable of charming Loki twice. If not for Baldr getting into a loud argument, Loki probably would have completely missed the time. As it was, he had to sneak away when Tom wasn't looking. For which he felt a little bad, but he had to take what he could get when it came to avoiding the attention of his family. 

Heimdall wasted no time in getting him home, and Loki was more than happy to share details when he asked. At the manor, Darcy awaited to help him out of the gown, and he had to recount the highlights a second time. When he asked if she'd known about Natalie being nobility, Darcy made a disbelieving noise and shook her head. Which made Loki feel a little bit better about her knowing that Natalie hadn't been the well-read common woman she'd acted. 

When Odin, Thor, and Baldr returned, Loki met them to receive their outer wear as though he'd been home alone the entire evening. Odin's lack of suspicion was the greatest gift Loki had ever received. 

-0-

"I thought you were only going to people watch," Thor teased when he found Loki in the garden, collecting whatever vegetables were ripe. 

Loki shrugged. "Yes, well, hard not to be charmed onto the dance floor when your opponent is a prince." 

Thor froze, his expression torn between disbelief and his teasing smile. 

Loki nodded. "I didn't think they'd told you. He slipped while we were resting." 

Thor groaned and laid out on the ground next to Loki. "What is it with the nobility and keeping secrets?" 

Loki shoved Thor's shoulder with one knee as he shifted. "You'll have to tell me once you marry Nat– Sorry, Lady Jane." 

Thor rolled his eyes. "You can call her Natalie, Loki. I know who you mean." 

"Hm." 

Thor brought up a hand to flick Loki's leg. "And you're one to talk. Considering how many times you and _Prince Tom_ danced last night, I'd think you were the closer to a marriage proposal." 

Loki groaned and shot his brother a disbelieving look. "Ignoring the fact that I'm lying about my gender–"

"Not really." 

"–and that I'm a servant, we _both_ know Father would never give a suitor his blessing." 

"Ah, well," Thor mumbled, grimacing. 

"Quite." 

Thor was quiet for a long moment, staring up at the sky as Loki worked at an easy pace around him. Finally, he asked, "Are you coming again tonight?" 

Loki sighed. He'd turned that question over in his mind multiple times since he'd returned home last night. "I'd like to," he admitted. "And Darcy is coming over again." 

Thor leaned up on his elbows and pulled his legs out of Loki's way. "We can get you a new gown." 

Loki smiled. "I'm fine with this one. And, no, I don't care what people say about it. Maybe my horrible faux pas will turn Prince Tom off me." 

"Or he'll like you all the more; he didn't seem the least off-put last night when you were talking about how pig dung felt lovely between the fingers." 

Loki grinned, remembering well the faces Tom's female cousins and Thor had made when he'd got started on the topic. 

"Honestly, Loki. I'm not sure, some days, whether it's you who's unprepared for society, or society that's unprepared for you." 

"Perhaps a bit of both," Loki suggested. 

Thor snorted and shoved at him with one foot. "You _are_ the master of straddling two extremes." 

They shared a laugh. 

Much later that afternoon, Loki would wonder at how quickly Thor had put aside his prejudices, followed by a moment of horrible, crippling doubt. He would force himself to think of a hug that _he_ had been the one to flinch away from, the playful shoving in the garden, the honest smile Thor had given him at the ball when he saw Loki in his fine clothing for the first time. 

And Loki would hope and pray, with every ounce of his being, that this wasn't just some elaborate plan to break him the rest of the way. 

-0-

When Loki let Darcy in after the carriage had left, he found the shopkeeper bearing a new gown. Upstairs in Thor's well-lit bedroom, Loki discovered it was a deep, sage green in colour and made from far finer material than anything the town tailor carried. "You didn't purchase this," he said with certainty. 

Darcy shook her head. "Natalie brought it to me just before supper. She had her family's tailor make it to the specifications she'd got from the town tailor." She smiled a bit helplessly. "She said it's an apology for not telling us she was nobility. Also, that, if you were going to dance with a prince, you really needed to look the part." 

Loki stared down at the gown, hand splayed against the fabric. "Dance with Tom? Again?" He shook his head. "That's really a terrible idea." 

"Why?" Darcy asked. "According to you, he's handsome, funny, clever, and you'd give anything to tumble into a bed with him." 

"I never said that last one!" Loki shouted, flushing. And, God, now that Darcy had made the suggestion... 

Darcy put on a false thoughtful look. "You didn't? Oh, my mistake." She smiled, wide and not the least bit apologetic. 

Loki let out an irritated huff. " _Look_ at me, Darcy. I'm neither male nor female. You might think that's brilliant, but any normal person would sooner cut off their own hand than have anything to do with me." 

"Loki, sweetheart," Darcy soothed, squeezing Loki's forearms, "I think your idea of 'normal' is extremely skewed." 

Loki looked away, refusing to respond to that. 

Darcy sighed. "Hey. Why not ask him?" 

"Ask him?" Loki repeated, the suggestion lodging itself quite firmly in his mind without any hint of resistance. 

"Yeah. And if he has a bad reaction, drop him like a load of bricks. If he takes it well, maybe he's worth taking a chance on." She squeezed his arms. "You've already been proven wrong about both me and Natalie, you know." 

"Okay," Loki agreed. "If he asks me to dance again, I'll ask him." 

"He's going to ask you to dance again," Darcy promised, taking the gown from Loki and motioning for him to strip down to his undergarments. 

-0-

Tom was, in fact, waiting for him by the castle entrance, not even bothering to pretend he was enjoying the ball without Loki. "You arrive fashionably late, then leave fashionably early," he teased as he fell in next to him. 

Loki raised an eyebrow at him. "Not all of us live on the premises, your Highness." 

Tom raised an eyebrow back. "How can I talk you into calling me 'Tom' again?" 

Loki took barely a second to process the question before blurting out, "Answer a question in all honestly." 

Tom blinked and stopped them both, clearly surprised. "You have my word," he promised, voice gone quiet and serious. 

Loki faltered for a second, then swallowed and pushed ahead, "Say there was a person who was neither woman nor man." 

"In what way?" Tom asked, brow furrowed with confusion. 

"In a–" Loki paused and tried to word what he wanted to say in a manner that was both understandable and suitable for polite society. 

"Honestly, Loki," Tom requested. 

Loki took a deep breath. "In that they have both a man's sexual organs, and a woman's." He closed his eyes, trying not to berate himself for being so...uncouth. 

"Is that even _possible_?" Tom breathed. He sounded intrigued, rather than disgusted or horrified, and Loki peeked his eyes open as he nodded. Tom's eyes were bright with interest. "I imagine that must make life difficult. How would you decide what clothing to wear, or how people should call you? How would you relieve yourself? Would you have to do it twice, to manage the two sets? Or would it all come at once?" 

Loki stared at the prince in disbelief, a knot in his chest untying and fading away into nothing. 

"But, goodness, the _freedom_ of getting to choose who you are..." Tom shook his head. "That must be...glorious." He sighed and smiled at Loki. "Do you know someone like that? A friend?" 

"A–" Loki swallowed. "Yes. A very close friend," he managed without his voice cracking, miraculously.

"You'll have to introduce us some time." 

"Maybe I will," Loki agreed, lost to the mix of emotions blooming in his chest. 

Tom took a hold of both of Loki's hands and brought them to his mouth to kiss. "Will you dance with me tonight, my lady?" 

Loki gathered himself to tug Tom's hands up to his own mouth to kiss. "I suppose," he allowed, smirking over the prince's hands. 

Tom smiled back, wide and pleased, and Loki found himself mirroring it as Tom led him into the ballroom. 

-0-

Loki couldn't say how much time had passed when Thor was suddenly there, face a mask of concern. "Loki?" 

Loki blinked at his brother. "Thor." He glanced down at Natalie and smiled at her. "Natalie. Thank you for the gown." 

Natalie smiled. "You're welcome." 

"Loki, I thought you said you had to leave by twelve thirty," Thor interrupted. 

Loki turned immediately to where he could see the clock tower out a high window. It was just past twelve thirty, and the happy floating feeling he'd been surrounding himself in all evening vanished, leaving him to crash to earth and the cry of panic that awaited him there. "Oh no," he whispered, and couldn't stop himself from looking towards Odin. 

"I can take you home," Natalie promised. "Mother and Father won't leave for another three hours, anyway." 

Odin turned towards Loki, some sixth sense always warning him when he was being stared at, and their eyes met. Across the distance, Loki saw that single blue eye narrow. 

"Lo'," Natalie called, touching Loki's cheek and drawing his attention back to her. "Come on. Let's get you home." 

Tom, who had stood watching all of this in silence, caught Loki's hands before he could follow Natalie and brought them to his mouth for two kisses. "Promise you'll return tomorrow night. Don't make me dance alone." 

Loki forced a smile against the fear clawing at his insides. "I promise," he whispered and kissed Tom's hands back before letting them go and brushing past him without a further word of good-bye to the prince or Thor. 

Out amongst the carriages, Loki waved to Heimdall's worried face as soon as he saw him, then motioned towards the rather fine carriage Natalie was leading them towards. Heimdall nodded, but the concern didn't fade as Loki climbed in, Natalie ordering the driver to make haste. 

They made it back to the manor is excellent time, and Darcy ran out to meet them, calling, "I was afraid something had happened!" 

"Something _did_ ," Natalie teased as the coachman helped Loki out. "Loki is head over heels for our prince." 

Loki flushed and shot Natalie a silencing look. "Yes, _thank you_ for that announcement, Natalie." 

"Ooh. Did you ask him?" Darcy demanded. 

"Ask him what?" Natalie asked as Loki nodded. 

"If he would be okay with Loki," Darcy explained. "What did he say?" 

"I didn't tell him it was _me_ ," Loki was quick to correct. "But he's... He thinks it's brilliant. And he has so many _questions_." Had continued to ask them throughout the night, even. Loki had answered the ones he had an easy answer to, but some he put off, insisting he'd have to ask his friend. 

"I told you!" Darcy crowed. 

"Yes, yes, well done," Loki said with a huff. "Come on, let's get me changed back into normal clothing. Thanks for the ride, Natalie!" 

"Any time," Natalie promised, smiling. "Darcy, I'll try to come by tomorrow afternoon. Lo', I'll see you tomorrow night." 

"I'll actually try to talk to you this time," Loki promised with a laugh, which Natalie echoed. 

"Bye!" Darcy called before taking Loki's arms and leading him into the manor. 

They got Loki changed as quickly as they could, then Darcy stayed to help Loki with his night chores. When the clock rang out one o'clock, though, Loki ushered his friend out, insisting he could finish everything on his own just fine, and not wanting to chance his family seeing her. 

Loki had just finished when he heard the front door opening. He hurried out to meet the three men, only to pause when he noted the concern still writ across Thor's face. And then, like an avenging angel, Odin was in front of him, a smack sending Loki reeling to the ground. "What–?" he breathed just before a booted foot connected with his stomach. 

"Thought you could disobey me, boy," Odin rumbled, the calmness of his voice at odds with the violence he was unleashing on Loki, who had curled into a foetal position, trying to protect his stomach and head. 

"Father, please," Thor tried. "You're hurting hi–"

"Would you like to share this servant's punishment, Thor?" Odin asked, letting off on the kicking while he was distracted by his eldest. 

Loki took the chance to raise his head and shake it at Thor. It was fine. He wasn't going to break from a little bit of kicking. He didn't need Thor facing Odin's wrath on his account. 

Thor swallowed and shook his head in response to Odin's question. Next to him, Baldr looked so very confused as he asked, "What's going on?" 

"Loki disobeyed my order and attended the ball," Odin announced before he started kicking Loki again. 

"Of _course_ she did," Baldr spat. 

"Enough," Thor murmured to him. 

The kicking stopped again and Loki fought the urge to peek out, trying to hear Odin's movements. But the man moved far more silently than one might have thought from looking at him, and Loki had no idea where he was until that booted foot darted into the space between his legs and arse, connecting with his sex. 

Loki screamed in pain and tried to shift away without poking his head out. 

Before Odin could kick him again, strong arms surrounded Loki. "Leave him _alone_ ," Thor snarled. 

"Thor, no," Loki whispered even as he grabbed at the front of his brother's jacket, seeking safety. 

Odin was silent for a long moment before rumbling, "I was right. You were helping him." He tutted. "Thor, my son, whatever Loki promised you, it isn't worth the betrayal of your family." 

"I'm not betraying my family," Thor spat. "I'm protecting it. Loki is my _brother_."

Baldr let out a quiet noise of uncertainty. 

Odin chuckled, the noise low and dark. "You can't claim something half-human as a sibling, Thor. He's a servant, and not even a particularly good one." 

"If he's so terrible, then why did you get rid of all the others?" Thor demanded, arms tightening around Loki. "If you hate him so much, why keep him here? Why not just kick him out after Mother died? If Mother was still alive, she'd be _ashamed_ to call you husband!" 

"Frigga picked that _creature_ over me!" Odin roared. "She picked him, and then she _left me with him_. She should be ashamed of _herself_!"

"Father, _no_!" Baldr shouted just before Thor's body shook and he grunted in pain. 

"Thor," Loki whispered as Thor grunted again. "Thor, what are you doing?" 

Thor looked down at him, blue eyes clouded with pain. "What I should have done eight years ago," he whispered back before grunting again, teeth gritted in pain. 

"Go to your room, Baldr," Odin ordered. 

"Father, plea–"

" _Now_!"

Quick steps sounded against the floor, then the stairs as Baldr retreated, leaving Thor and Loki to the violence of a jealous father. 

Well, at least until Odin picked up the ancient chair left against one wall for the doorman they no longer had and used it to knock out first Thor, then Loki. 

-0-

Loki felt like his whole body was one great bruise when he woke. He simply laid there for a moment, aching and trying not to think too hard about what had happened to leave him in such a state. 

Then, like a chair to the face, he remembered Thor protecting him and opened his eyes to look for him. 

Thor was lying across from him on the narrow (if the sense of nothingness at Loki's back meant anything) bed they were laying on, hands bound with thick coils of rope against his chest. The weak daylight coming in through a window somewhere behind Loki lit up the dark stain of dried blood against blond hair. 

Loki tried to reach up to check the blood, but found his hands had been similarly bound, twisted oddly between his breasts and held in place by a rope circling his chest. He blinked down at the bindings a bit dumbly for a moment, his mind slow to decide on a reaction. 

Finally, he turned his attention back to Thor. "Thor," he rasped and shifted closer. Stretching his fingers uncomfortably, he was just able to brush his brother's knuckles. "Thor. Thor, you imbecile, wake up." 

_Please don't be dead. Please, please don't be dead._

Thor let out a moan and his eyelids fluttered, but didn't open. His fingers flexed, then he froze, whole frame tensing in a way Loki wasn't sure he could have managed himself. Blue eyes cracked open, took a moment to stare at Loki, then darted around in their limited field of vision. "Brother?" Thor whispered, voice as wrecked as Loki's. 

Loki refused to breathe out in relief. Instead he hit Thor's hands as much as he could. "You imbecile! If you'd stayed out of things, we wouldn't _both_ be tied up in here." 

"Because leaving you to be hurt and wake up alone was an option," Thor snarled back. 

"If you weren't in here, you could be out there, trying to get me out. But, no, you had to go and be _noble_. You stupid, idiotic–" Loki's voice cracked and he closed his eyes against the tears he hadn't even realised were falling. 

"Loki," Thor whispered. His fingers brushed against the back of Loki's hand and he immediately extended his own fingers without looking, leaving Thor to tangle them together in what little comfort he could offer. "I'm not sorry for protecting you," he added, squeezing Loki's fingers gently. "I'm only sorry I didn't do it sooner." 

"Idiot," Loki whispered, squeezing Thor's fingers back. 

A sound made them both tense, fingers tugging at each other uncomfortably. The sound came again and Thor tried to lever himself up enough to see over Loki. After a moment and a third repeat of the sound – Loki was beginning to think it was someone trying to muffle a sob – Thor gave up, eyes closing and brow scrunched up with pain. 

When the sound came a fourth time, Thor called out, "Hello?" 

Loki hissed at him angrily and wiggled his fingers to try and get Thor to entwine their fingers together again so he could squeeze really hard or something. 

"Thor?" a tired, familiar voice called, sounding as though it was muffled by a door. 

"Baldr?" Thor called back. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah. A-Are you?" 

"A bit tied up, but we'll live," Thor promised. 

There was a long pause, then Baldr asked, "Loki's there?" 

"He is," Thor agreed, cautious. 

The sound came again – _Definitely a sob,_ Loki decided – then Baldr said, "I'm so-orry, Loki! I didn't think it would ever go th-at fa–"

"Oh, shut up," Loki snapped. 

" _Loki_ ," Thor hissed, disapproving, as Baldr let out a much louder sob. 

Loki clenched his eyes shut, waited until the silence between sobs, then called, "If you want me to ever forgive you, Baldr, you will stop crying, listen to me, and do _exactly_ as I say. Am I clear?" 

They waited in silence as Baldr attempted to get his upset under control, Loki glaring at Thor to keep him quiet. Finally, Baldr replied, "I'm listening, Loki." 

Loki let out a quiet sigh. "Where is Father?" he asked first, because that was important to know. 

"He hasn't left his room yet this morning." 

Loki raised an eyebrow at the mention of the time; he'd thought it was much later. That made his plans both easier, and harder. Ah, such was life. "Do you know where Heimdall's cottage is?" 

"Yes." 

"Good. Go to him, tell him you need to have Miss Darcy get Natalie. Thor and I are in trouble. Understand?" 

"Yes." 

"Repeat it back to me." 

"Go to Heimdall. Tell him I need to have Miss Darcy get Natalie, because you and Thor are in trouble." 

"Good." 

"What if Heimdall asks what happened?" Baldr asked. 

"Tell him. It'll make him move faster, with luck." 

"If he thinks he might be able to help by coming here, tell him to follow Loki's orders," Thor added, frowning. "Which are?" 

Loki couldn't help but smile at the irritated sigh Baldr let out. "Miss Darcy needs to get Natalie, because you two are in trouble." 

"But first you need Heimdall," Thor insisted, mirroring Loki's smile. 

"Yes, Heimdall," Baldr agreed. There was a moment of silence, then he asked, "What do I do after?" 

Loki blinked and looked a bit helplessly at Thor, because his plans hadn't moved past making sure Natalie knew they needed help. 

Thor's brow furrowed for a moment in thought, then he gave a quick nod and ordered, "Go to the castle. Tell the guard that your father had a fit and you're too scared to stay at home. If anyone asks if they need to send someone here to check on things, tell them your brothers are handling it and will come get you when it's safe. _Don't_ mention any names, and if anyone asks for more information, tell them your brothers will answer any questions later." 

"Okay, Thor." 

"Go," Loki snapped and there came the sound of movement through whatever barrier was between them. Loki waited until he was sure Baldr was gone before asking, "Why avoid names at the castle?" 

"He's traumatised enough without being dragged into the middle of all this alone," Thor said with a quiet sigh, pressing his fingers against Loki's. "Anyway, your prince will hear about this soon enough from Lady Jane. No need to have him rushing in here in a panic because he heard through the grapevine that Father beat you senseless." 

"He knocked you out first," Loki reminded him, though it was hardly a contest. 

Thor looked, for a moment, like he wanted to snap out a reply to that, but he stopped himself, expression darkening, and squeezed Loki's fingers. "I'm sorry," he whispered instead. 

"You realise I'm going to start throwing things at you for apologising long before you'll have made up for this," Loki deadpanned. 

Thor winced. "I know. And I know that you'll never forgive me–"

"Oh, Thor..." Loki sighed and leaned his head forward, squeezing Thor's fingers. "Brother, I already forgave you." 

Thor's breath caught and he leaned his own head forward, until their foreheads were brushing. "I don't deserve it." 

"Probably not," Loki agreed with a sad little smile. "But I forgave you anyway. Imbecile." 

Thor chuckled, the deep sound reverberating against their miniscule points of contact. 

They were silent for a long while after that, drawing what comfort they could from each other. 

Eventually, though, Thor whispered, "Your prince is going to find out." 

Loki clenched his eyes shut tighter. "I know." 

"I'm sor–"

"Don't make me headbutt you. I'll regret it, but I will do it." 

Thor snorted and tightened his fingers around Loki's. 

Loki chewed on his lip for a moment before admitting, "I asked him, last night, how he would react to such a person. He was...intrigued." 

"But he doesn't know it's you." 

"No." 

"At least we already know he doesn't mind a bit of deception." 

"Shut up, Thor." 

Thor chuckled, deep and comforting, and Loki let himself relax into the sound, and sleep. 

-0-

Loki woke to the sound of distant shouting. Thor was staring past him, towards whatever barrier had held Baldr back before, though Loki knew his brother wouldn't be able to see more than the upper part of the wall and the ceiling while his head rested on the bed. 

"It started maybe five minutes ago," Thor whispered, his eyes refocusing on Loki. "I believe it's the castle guard." 

"They haven't found us yet," Loki murmured. 

Thor offered a lopsided smile. "Evidentially not. They probably had to deal with Father first, though." 

Loki grimaced at the thought. "With luck, we won't have to see him again." 

Thor squeezed his fingers. "If he wishes to ask forgiveness, I would see him," he admitted. 

Loki squeezed his fingers back. "That's your choice. I will be happy to cut all ties to him." 

"I know. I'm so–"

"Don't you dare." 

Thor's lopsided smile returned for a brief moment before the distant shouting suddenly stopped. They both fell quiet, looking as much as they could towards the barrier between them and the rest of the manor. 

"Loki!" Natalie's voice rang out. "Thor!" 

"Jane!" Thor called back, his voice carrying far better than Loki's ever could. 

"Down here," Natalie said, just loud enough that Thor and Loki could hear. After a moment, she called out again, "Thor? Talk to me." 

Thor looked a bit helplessly at Loki, who sighed and raised his voice to call back, "You've stumped him. Which, not hard to do–"

"Shut up, Loki," Thor complained, quiet enough to stay between them. 

Loki smirked at him. "Given, I won't complain. He's much quieter this way. And the Lord knows my eardrums were about to burst from his yelling in my face." 

"You're much nicer as a woman," Thor muttered, squeezing Loki's fingers to show he meant no offence. 

There came a banging and Loki startled, shifting minutely closer to Thor. 

"Jane?" Thor called. 

"Sorry, that was me," she responded. Then, to someone else, "Did anyone get a key ring off him?" 

"Father never carries his keys on him," Loki offered over the quiet reply in the negative from whomever she'd been speaking to. "It'll be in his desk, or I've a set hidden in the red pot over the fireplace." 

"Are we in the very back rooms of the manor?" Thor asked over some murmuring from the other side of what was, apparently, a door. "Rotting furniture in the hallway?" 

"You don't even know where you _are_?" a new voice exclaimed in disgust. It sounded vaguely familiar to Loki, but he couldn't place it. 

"There is, yes," Jane agreed. 

"The older servant quarters," Thor whispered to Loki. "Baldr and I like to hide back here." 

"I know," Loki replied drily. "I clean up after you two." 

Thor grimaced, then raised his voice to explain, "Above the worst of the chairs, there's a loose stone. There's a key in there that unlocks both doors on this hall." 

"When did you have that made?" Loki hissed, scowling. No wonder locking the doors had never kept his brothers out. 

Thor grinned. "Mother's key ring, before Father had it melted down. You helped me, remember?" 

Loki blinked and frowned in thought. It took him a moment, but he finally recalled the conversation he and Thor had had about making themselves feel better by tormenting the servants in the night. They'd never done anything, but Loki had been the one to sneak in and steal the needed key while Thor distracted Odin. "Oh. I forgot about that." 

A key turned in the lock and the door dragged against the floor as it was pushed open. "Oh," Natalie whispered. 

"A knife, please," Thor requested, exhaustion colouring his voice. "These ropes are not comfortable." 

Loki felt someone behind him, carefully bracing his back as something sharp slipped between the thick rope and his tunic. A second person leaned over him to start on Thor's ropes, and Loki was surprised to recognise Matthew, one of Tom's cousins. He was immediately disappointed with himself for his surprise; he'd _known_ Natalie would collect help from the castle, and so it made sense that some of Tom's cousins would be a part of the rescue party. Even if Tom wasn't. 

(Loki shoved away any hurt at the thought that Tom wouldn't have come as soon as he heard Loki was in trouble. Despite what the prince thought of him, he _wasn't_ a blushing maiden in need of a prince charming!) 

The rope gave and Loki wasted no time in lowering his wrists to finish freeing them against his abdomen, leaving more room for Matthew to work on Thor's bindings. The silent person who'd freed Loki kept bracing him, a sort of reassurance that Loki hadn't even realised he'd needed. 

Once Thor was free, Matthew straightened, asking the person at Loki's back, "Have you got her?" 

"Yeah," Tom whispered, and Loki froze, heart jumping to his throat. Across from him, Thor flashed him a knowing smile, and Loki scowled back on principle. "Loki," Tom called, "can you roll backward? Get you off the bed. I promise I'll catch you." 

Loki swallowed and closed his eyes on Thor's continuing smile, then let himself roll backwards into the bracing hands and that void of air he'd tried not to think about the entire time he'd been laying there. 

Tom caught him with a soft grunt, pulling Loki up to rest against his chest. Dizzy with relief, Loki hid his face against Tom's throat, one hand grabbing for his jacket without Loki's conscious thought. "You're safe," Tom whispered into his hair. "I've got you, you're safe." 

"Shit," Thor breathed, and Loki peeked up at him to find his brother staring at the narrow space Loki had been occupying on the bed. Seeing it now, Loki shuddered, not sure how he managed to keep from falling off through the night and most of the day. 

"What happened?" Matthew asked as Thor sat up, Natalie hurrying forward to help. "Your father was not very forthcoming before the guard dragged him off, and Lady Jane didn't have the full story." 

Thor shook his head. "Father found out Loki attended the ball last night. He'd forbidden Loki from going as soon as it was announced." 

"But why?" Tom demanded. "The invitation said all women of a marriageable age." 

"Father doesn't care for me," Loki announced drily, even as he cuddled closer to the prince. "He saw no cause to bring the family servant to a ball." 

"Loki and I are not related by blood," Thor hurried to explain, more capable of reading their audiences' expressions. "Mother took him in as a babe when it was apparent he had no parents." 

A heavy silence followed then, as it occurred to everyone what pronouns Thor had let slip. Natalie let out a quiet sigh, and Loki didn't need to look to know what expression Thor would be wearing. 

Tom's arms tightened around Loki, hugging him closer. "You could have said," he whispered into Loki's hair. 

Tension Loki hadn't even realised had filled him drained in a great rush and he clung tighter to Tom's jacket. "My father made me a servant for what I am," he whispered, voice awash in shame and relief. "Do you blame me for not telling you the whole truth?" 

Tom sighed. "No," he admitted. 

"Explanation for the hired help, if you would," Matthew interrupted. 

Tom chuckled at the description for his cousin, but it was Thor who explained, "Loki was born with the body of both woman and man. Mother loved him for it, Father did not." He sighed. "It is to my shame that I followed with my father upon discovering the truth, when I should have judged my brother on his own merits." 

"You're trying," Natalie insisted. "That's what matters, right, Lo'?" 

"Thor already knows my feelings on the matter," Loki replied, having no interest in rehashing their earlier discussion in regards of his forgiveness. 

"I do," Thor agreed quietly. 

"So, query," Matthew said. Someone must have motioned, for he continued, "Which do you prefer, Loki? To be a man, or a woman?" 

Against him, Tom tensed, and Loki wondered at that even as he turned the question over in his mind. After a moment's silence, he admitted, "I was raised as male, and other than these few days, it is all I have ever known." He shrugged. "It is easier, in truth, to physically appear a woman, given my breasts are not–" He flushed, recalling who was in the room with him. 

"Unnoticeable when you wear clothing intended for you, rather than your brother's castoffs," Natalie finished for him. "There are ways to hide them, but they're not comfortable. Truthfully, you might be better off as a woman." 

Tom took a deep breath and leaned backwards fast enough that Loki couldn't continue hiding against him before the prince caught his chin. "If your choice, my Loki, is to be as a woman, then I have a request for you." 

Loki's mind caught on the possessive and it took him a moment to catch up with what Tom had said. He licked his lips and whispered, "What's your request?" 

Tom held his gaze as he let go of Loki's chin and took one of Loki's hands, letting their fingers fold together with the familiarity of two people who'd spent hours on end dancing hand-in-hand. "My lady, I would be honoured if you would agree to be my wife." 

Behind Loki, Thor sucked in a breath, while Natalie let out an excited squeak. 

Loki's answer had been set the moment Tom had accepted what he was without a moment's hesitation last night. "My prince, I would be honoured to accept," he replied, formal to hide the way his heart was thundering at his chest like it thought to break through the barrier of skin and scream joy for all to hear. 

Tom smiled widely and leaned forward to gently rest his forehead against Loki's. "Thank God," he whispered under the cover of Natalie's unladylike cheer. 

"We'll have to get you cleaned up!" Natalie started babbling, coming up beside them and holding down a hand to help Loki up. "You look an absolute mess, and your clothing is simply shameful. You can hardly be expected to meet their Majesties like this." 

Loki stumbled as he got to his feet. "Meet the king and queen?" he whispered, only now truly realising he had just agreed to marry into the royal family. 

"They'll love you," Natalie promised. "Are your gowns here? Darcy said she wasn't keeping them." 

"They're in Thor's room," Loki agreed distantly. 

Natalie nodded. "Thor, come along. You can clean up and change in Baldr's room while I help Loki. And you two–" she pointed between Matthew and Tom, both smiling bemusedly at the young woman giving orders "–will await us in the carriage." 

Matthew chuckled. "Certainly, Lady Jane. Come along, Thomas. Best not to anger your fiancée or her friend." 

Tom blinked, then his smile widened as he met Loki's eyes. "Indeed." He took one of Loki's hands and brought it up to kiss the back. Then, brow furrowing, the rope mark around his wrist. "My lady," he murmured at last, smile only a little strained at the reminder of Loki's recent ordeal. 

Loki shook away the fog that had settled around his head and kissed the back of Tom's hand, winning a far more honest smile from him. "My prince." He squeezed his hand once before letting it go and allowing Natalie to usher him from the room, Thor trailing. 

Upstairs, Thor was quick about retrieving a change of clothing and leaving for Baldr's room. Natalie considered Loki's two gowns while he set about washing blood out of his hair and off his face and wherever it had got past his tunic . When Natalie at last turned to him, holding the sage green gown, she let out a horrified sound and came over to gently touch Loki's back. "Oh, Lo'," she whispered, voice breaking. 

Loki had seen the impressive bruising on his arms, legs, and the one from the single kick to his stomach. Recalling all-too-well Odin's plan of attack, as well as the subtle aches of his body, he didn't doubt his back was a macabre patchwork. He sighed and stood, offering a tired smile to Natalie. "They'll heal." He nodded to the gown she was holding. "While that's the nicer of the two, the grey one might be the better option; it has sleeves." He held up his arms as proof that the long sleeves were necessary, lest they wanted _everyone_ knowing he'd been beat senseless by Odin. 

Natalie swallowed and looked away. "Yes, of course," she agreed quietly before turning and trading the gowns off. 

When she returned, Loki caught her chin and offered a smile when she looked up at him. "Thank you," he said, putting every ounce of gratitude he possessed into the two words. 

Natalie pulled him closer for a one-armed hug, touch gentle, gown crushed between them. "You're welcome," she whispered. 

After a long moment of stillness, they pulled apart and Natalie helped Loki into the gown, expression tightening each time Loki couldn't help but react to moving his aching body, or the fabric pulling a little too tight against a bruise. In the end, though, the gown covered all the bruises, and none of the seams pressed into any. 

"We'll have to have a new gown made for you for tonight," Natalie said as Loki fought with his hair. "Something a bit less dull, I think." 

"I _like_ these shades," Loki insisted, to Natalie's apparent amusement. "Given everyone else's infatuation with bright colours, I would think grey a far better choice." 

Natalie sighed. "You do realise there will be an announcement that you're engaged to Prince Thomas at the ball, right? You'll want a colour that really calls attention. Something green, perhaps, since you favour it." 

Loki closed his eyes for a moment, gathering his patience, then turned and pinned his friend with a flat look. "I've spent the past eight years trying _not_ to be seen, Natalie. I can manage the public announcement, but you can _not_ make me wear a bright colour. _Please_."

Natalie's eyes went wide for a moment, then she looked away. "I forgot," she admitted, then took a deep breath and looked back up at Loki. "Okay. Dull colours. Or pale ones? Purple?" 

Loki considered that, motioning that he was ready to meet up with the other men. "Maybe," he decided. "I'll look at it, see what I think?" 

"Sounds like a plan. After your introduction to King James and Queen Diana, we'll stop by the royal tailor's. He'll want to have you stay while he works, so he can alter anything then and there, but it would probably be a better idea to send you and Thor both to the physician." She sighed. "We should do that first, honestly, but I'd rather not fight with your gown any more than necessary." 

"Not to mention my hair," Loki muttered, hiding a smile behind one hand. He glanced down at himself and added, "I feel simultaneously over- and underdressed." 

Natalie smiled. "Ball gowns aren't really general court wear," she agreed, "but it's what you have. We'll have the tailor make you some everyday dresses, as well as the gown." 

"That's not a bad idea," Tom said as he held out a hand to help Loki and Natalie into the carriage. "I assume you don't really own female clothing?" 

Loki shook his head as he dropped gratefully into the open spot next to Thor. "You've seen all I own." 

"Even your under things?" Matthew asked from where he was sitting with the driver. 

" _Matthew_!" Natalie snapped as Tom reached back and smacked his cousin, cheeks stained pink. "Recall that you are speaking to a lady and chose your words accordingly." 

Loki raised an eyebrow and very primly informed all of them, "I don't show what's under my gown to any man who hasn't first returned the favour." 

Matthew and Thor both chortled while Natalie groaned. Tom just smiled and reached across the space between them to take one of Loki's hands in his. Loki allowed it with a fond smile, leaning forward slightly to ensure they could keep the contact, in spite of the movements of the carriage. Natalie and Thor both smiled at them, then picked up a conversation they'd apparently been in the middle of the night before, when Thor had realised the time. 

-0-

Once they got into the castle, Tom sent a servant ahead to warn his parents that he wanted to introduce them to his chosen bride. Then he asked another servant about Baldr, whom Loki and Thor had admitted was hiding out in the castle before they arrived. 

"It will serve us best to introduce both of your brothers with you," Matthew explained as Tom sent the servant to fetch the youngest brother. 

"Given recent events, I was hoping you would all remain in the castle for a time," Tom added quietly as he re-joined them. "We can explain it away as having you on hand for the wedding preparations, if you wish to avoid mentioning your father." 

Thor nodded. "I know I would appreciate some time away from the manor, and I'm sure Loki feels the same." 

"I would be happy if I never set foot in there again," Loki deadpanned. 

Thor grimaced and pulled him into a careful hug, which Loki returned without hesitation; hours spent staring at the blood in Thor's hair had rather cured Loki of any lingering resentment for the past. There would always remain a distant fear that Thor might turn on him again, certainly, but he would be damned if he refused another hug from the man who had protected him from the father he'd always idolised. 

Baldr arrived before Thor let Loki go. He paused at the sight and called, "Brother?" Both Thor and Loki looked at him and it took a moment, but his eyes eventually went wide. " _Loki_?"

Loki flashed his younger brother a sharp smile and pressed a kiss to Thor's cheek. "I will leave this explanation in your capable hands, Brother," he murmured before slipping from Thor's grip and stepping closer to Tom. 

Thor groaned, but made no further complaint as he motioned Baldr to one side to explain things to him. 

Tom offered Loki his arm, which he took, gladly. "What sort of reception should I expect from your family?" Loki asked, looking down at where the bottom of his gown seemed to float above the floor. "Behind closed door, I mean." 

Tom hummed. "Mother will very likely love you in spite of your differences. Father might accept you without pause, but he may also disapprove of you becoming my wife. If he does, however, I promise he won't act anything like your own father did." 

"Father's reaction was quite extreme," Loki murmured. "And, from what he said last night, may have had as much to do with jealousy as my differences." 

"Jealously?" Natalie asked, having joined them with Matthew while Thor and Baldr whispered in a corner, both casting occasional glances towards Loki. 

Loki paused, then explained, "Mother always put my brothers and me first. Where Father didn't mind that she paid so much more attention to Thor and Baldr, as they were his true-born sons, I was an interloper and...defective, I suppose, in his eyes. He wasn't pleased that Mother paid me attention when she could have been devoting her time to other things." 

"Such as himself?" Tom grumbled. 

Loki shrugged. "It's possible. I wasn't in the position to ask what he thought her priorities should have been." 

"I'd suggest you might ask him now, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with you seeing him," Tom admitted, expression twisted with uncertainty. 

Loki patted his arm. "I am perfectly happy pretending he's dead, so don't concern yourself." 

"Morbid," Natalie murmured and Loki shrugged in response. 

Tom nudged Loki's shoulder. "Sarah and Emma should both love you. I apologise in advance if Sarah decides to, ah, mother you, I suppose. Grandfather died shortly before Emma was born, and while Mother tried to be there, Sarah ended up raising Emma for the most part." He shook his head. "I'm convinced she turned away so many suitors because she wanted to be here for Emma." 

"I don't doubt it," Matthew agreed with a fond smile. "I suspect half the reason Auntie and Uncle decided to hold this ball for both of them, was in the hopes that if Emma found a husband, Sarah would finally move on." 

Natalie laughed. "Maybe we should wait to introduce Loki to your sisters, until _after_ Sarah has announced her intent to marry." 

"Too late now," Tom replied as Thor and Baldr joined them. 

Loki slipped his arm from Tom's as Baldr stopped next to him, posture defeated. "Baldr," he said once it became clear his younger brother had no words. 

Baldr looked up, eyes damp. "I'm sorry, Loki." 

Loki shook his head. "You'll have to prove that to me before I'll accept it." 

"Loki," Thor pleaded. 

Loki frowned at his elder brother. "I will not sugar-coat this, Thor. You had a fair chance to make things better between us, and Baldr will get the same." He turned hard green eyes on the youngest. "You need to earn my forgiveness, Baldr, just as Thor did." He reached out to touch Baldr's cheek and was unsurprised when he jerked away. "You can start by not flinching when I touch you." 

"I'll try," Baldr whispered. 

Loki stared at him for a long moment before nodding. "Good." He softened his gaze as he looked around at the other three. "Everyone, this is my younger brother, Baldr. Baldr, this is Lady Jane, Lord Matthew, and His Royal Highness, Prince Thomas." 

Baldr swallowed and did a careful bow towards Tom. "Your Highness." Then he turned to Natalie and Matthew. "My lady, my lord." 

Tom considered him for a moment before nodding to himself and looking at Loki with a small smile. "We'd best make our way to the throne room, before they send a servant for us." 

Loki took a deep breath and held out his arm in invitation. Tom chuckled and slid his arm into Loki's grip, unperturbed by the easy trade of gender roles that Loki had been playing with since their first meeting. Only Baldr seemed at all surprised, and a glance towards Thor's faint smile had him quickly masking any hint of disapproval. 

The formal introductions were almost tedious, in the long run, and Loki knew he wouldn't remember a moment of them later. Tom did ask about lodging for his fiancée and Loki's two brothers, which Queen Diana granted without pause, sending a couple of servants to ready some rooms for the three. 

The rest of the day was filled with a visit to the tailor, the castle physician, then back to the tailor for last minute fittings before the start of the ball. Tom stayed with Loki for almost the entirety, only leaving when Thor and Baldr arrived so he could change. 

Loki had ended up picking a dark purple fabric for his gown, as he hadn't cared for any of the pastels. Judging by the way Thor had grinned in approval and Baldr's eyes had gone wide, Loki figured he pulled it off quite well. 

He'd been forced to wear fancy shoes, Natalie insistent that Loki was the prince's fiancée, now, and couldn't chance being caught wearing his old shoes in the castle. She did agree that Loki didn't need heels, though, and flats were ordered in the same colour as the new gown. (Loki didn't doubt he would find similar shoes waiting with the new everyday dresses, as well, as much as he didn't want them.) 

The formal announcement of Loki and Tom's engagement was as memorable as when he'd been introduced to Tom's parents, and Loki was quite happy to escape out to the garden with Tom, his cousins, Natalie, and Thor. 

They did, eventually, have to go back indoors, and Loki allowed Tom to talk him into a few dances before he had to sit down. 

"I keep forgetting that this hasn't been an easy day for you," Tom murmured as he brought a drink over to where Loki had collapsed into a chair. "I apologise." 

Loki shook his head. "I'm quite content with no one else discovering what occurred last night, in all honesty." 

Tom offered him an understanding smile. "Just let me know when you need to retire and I'll make your excuses and show you to your room." 

Loki smiled in gratitude. "I will," he promised before asking a question that had been worrying at him for the entire afternoon, "When am I expected to meet your family for real?" 

Tom let out a nervous laugh and looked towards where the king and queen sat in their thrones. "Tomorrow afternoon, at the earliest. Otherwise, probably not until the day after." He glanced back down at Loki. "Normally, you would meet them after dinner, but with the ball..." He shrugged. 

Loki nodded in understanding. "At least I'll have a chance to sleep, first?" he suggested. 

"That is very true, yes." 

Loki lasted another hour and a few more dances before he wasn't completely certain he could make it back up to his room. Thor had left at least twenty minutes before, and Loki hadn't seen Baldr anywhere when they first came in from the garden, though he knew his younger brother had been there during the engagement announcement. 

Tom helped him out of the ballroom without complaint, and was apparently well practised at keeping his partner from looking like they were about to fall asleep on their feet. (Loki wondered, absently, how many times his fiancé had been required to help one of his sisters or cousins to bed without concerning anyone as to their state of exhaustion. God knew, Loki had seen Thor attempt the service for Baldr a couple of times, when Odin had his military friends over.) 

On their way to the main staircase, they came across someone Loki hadn't seen since his luck had changed so radically. "Heimdall!" he called, straightening. 

The coachman turned away from the other coachmen he'd been talking with. His face lit up when he saw Loki and he quickly strode over. "You look more and more radiant each night, Young Ma– Mistress." He grimaced at his slip and glanced at Tom. His eyes caught on the crown Tom had been forced to wear for the evening and his eyes went wide. 

Loki laughed. "Heimdall, may I present my fiancé, His Royal Highness, Prince Thomas. Tom, my family's coachman, and my personal guardian angel, Heimdall." 

Heimdall sketched a low bow. "Your Highness." 

"Please," Tom insisted, pushing against Heimdall's shoulder to get him to straighten. "I hardly require that of our servants; I'm _certainly_ not going to ask it of Loki's friends." He glanced at Loki. "Or guardian angels." 

"Heimdall was the one who found me as a baby," Loki explained to the unasked question as Heimdall straightened. "And he...gave me a shoulder to cry on when I almost lost hope not too long ago." 

"And it seems I was right," Heimdall pointed out. "Fiancée to the prince, Master Odin awaiting trial for his crimes, and the belle of the ball." He cupped Loki's cheek. "I'm proud of you, Young Mistress." 

Loki stepped closer, into the embrace Heimdall immediately offered, and hid his face against the man's shoulder. "Thank you, Heimdall," he whispered, voice thick with tears. "Thank you so, so much." 

Heimdall kissed his forehead, arms tightening when Loki couldn't hold back a quiet sob. "No thanks are necessary," he murmured to Loki. He ducked his head until he could meet Loki's eyes. "It is, as ever, my honour to assist you." He smiled faintly. "And, for the moment, I believe you require assistance getting to bed." 

Loki let out a quiet laugh and pulled back. "Thor, Baldr, and I have rooms at the castle until the wedding." 

"So you're saying I'm unnecessary." 

Loki shook his head. "No, no, nothing like that!" He paused. "Or, well..." 

Heimdall smiled and cupped Loki's cheek. "I understand, Young Mistress." He glanced towards Tom. "If it wouldn't be an imposition, I would happily return each day, for if my young masters or mistress have need of a carriage." 

"I'll see to it that you aren't turned away," Tom promised, pressing a gentle hand to Loki's back. "You are right about getting Loki to bed, however." 

Loki smiled. "I'll come down to see you tomorrow, and we can catch up." 

"I look forward to it." Heimdall stepped back and inclined his head in the most minute of bows. "Your Highness, Young Mistress." 

"Goodnight, Heimdall," Loki returned before letting Tom lead him away, towards the stairs. 

As they reached the bottom, Tom handed over and handkerchief. "You look a fright." 

Loki laughed and wiped at his face. "Well, if whatever maid you've assigned me can't handle me after a few tears, she won't last very long with the rest of me." 

Tom sighed. "For tonight, someone who knows volunteered to take care of you." Loki raised an eyebrow; there weren't many women who knew what he was. "We'll conduct interviews over the next few days to find someone who won't cause undue strain. If we have to go outside the current castle staff, we'll do it." He paused on the landing and took Loki's hands in his, uncaring for the damp handkerchief. "You _will_ be happy here, I promise." 

Loki squeezed Tom's hands. "I already am," he promised, winning a smile from the prince. "I'll be even happier once I'm out of this gown." 

Tom laughed and moved to his side, slipping an arm around Loki's waist to help support him. "It's not much farther." 

It really wasn't much farther. And when Loki opened the door, he found himself greeted by a familiar smile. "Darcy!" 

Darcy laughed and came forward to pull Loki into the room. "Natalie asked me to come and help out until you can find someone who won't make an idiot of themselves because they're jealous they're not you." 

"You're terrible!" Loki laughed. 

Darcy winked, then peeked around Loki to where Tom was standing in the doorway, smiling. "I take it this is your Prince Charming." 

Loki nodded and turned to include Tom in the conversation. "Darcy, Prince Tom. Tom, this is Darcy, Jane and my friend from town." 

"A pleasure to finally make your acquaintance, Miss Darcy. Jane speaks quite highly of your teas." 

Darcy grinned at him. "If you're lucky, you might even get to try some one day. For now, though–" she started closing the door "–go about your princely duties elsewhere so I can get my friend to bed. Shoo. You can have him again in the morning." 

"Darcy!" Loki complained, secretly grateful. "Goodnight, Tom." 

"Goodnight, my lady. Sleep well," Tom managed before Darcy slammed the door in his face. 

"You really are quite terrible," Loki informed the shopkeeper. 

Darcy shook her head and offered a far tamer smile than she'd worn previously. "I know what you look like when you're tired, Loki. Let's get you to bed." 

"Yes, please," Loki agreed and turned so Darcy could reach the ties for his gown. "Please don't overreact, though, at all the bruises. They look terrible, but the physician gave me a salve for them that's supposed to make them heal faster, and they're quite numb when it's first applied." 

"Is there some of that salve up here?" Darcy requested as she reached the blemished skin of Loki's back, voice tightening. 

Loki nodded. "He said he'd have a jar sent up. It should be next to the bed." 

"Good. We'll put it on before your nightgown." She sighed and paused in helping Loki out of the gown to brush her hand over Loki's back. "I really hope they hang him." 

Loki bit his lip to keep from agreeing, if only because he wasn't sure how Baldr and Thor would take that sentence. 

Darcy finished helping Loki get ready in silence. Once he was tucked into bed, the shopkeeper knelt down next to the bed and brushed a lock of hair from his face. "Goodnight, Loki," she whispered. "When you wake up, know you'll do so in a world where you're safe and happy." She kissed Loki's forehead, a reminder from not too long ago, when Heimdall did the same. "It's everything you've ever deserved, and don't you _ever_ again think otherwise." 

And Loki didn't.

..

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Halloween/Samhain! :D


End file.
